Hearing all this, Simian began teasing the crowd. “What would convince all of you that I did get to the bottom?” said Simian. Knowing well in advance that he was going to blow everyone’s mind, he played a little game. “OK, If I remember correctly, I was supposed to bring back something.” The crowd began discussing the rock Simian was referring to. It had a special mark. The crowd spent a fair amount of time discussing among themselves all the details of this rock. When the crowd calmed down a bit, Simian gave a bad news; “Unfortunately, I couldn’t find the rock.” This caused unending roar of curses and shouts that, in the end, sounded like “We knew it! He is a faker” Everyone began taking among themselves about how each knew it was a joke of some kind. But, still smiling , Simian yelled “What if I told you that I learned the magic of sea goddesses?” This, unbelievable tale, started another roar of shouts and curses and laughter.”Magic? What magic? He must be kidding. No I heard there is magic. I can do magic too” everyone had to say something to Simian. Simian patiently waited till it quieted down, and said “If I can prove it to you, will you follow me and worship me as your King?” Hearing this absurd claim, one monkey came forward and said “Sure, We know you went into the waterfall, and somehow, survived. At this point, if you can show us your magic, we will make you our king.” With the crowd where Simian wanted them to be, Simian slowly walked toward the edge of waterfall and raised both arms. “Suri, suri, masuri, bring me my cloud.” chanted Simian knowing well that everyone’s eyes are on him. Simian wanted to make a full production out of his trick. Immediately, two small cloud flew toward Simian, and Simian jumped onto the cloud. Each small cloud was under each foot of Simian and was carrying him into the sky! Simian flew a big circle around the cliff and flew toward the monkeys standing and watching in awe. To make his production a little bit dramatic, Simian went and came out of the mist. When he reached the edge, he jumped and landed on his feet. Seeing all of this amazing trick, all the monkeys were frozen solid; no eyes were blinked. They didn’t know what to make of this turn of event. Everyone was racking his brain to figure out what just happened. Sure, Simian claimed his learning magic, but actually seeing this cloud trick was just too much for small monkey brain to handle. But, as if some enlightenment came to them, one by one, each knelt down in front of Simian and said “My King”. Soon, all of monkeys were on their knees with their forehead pressed against the ground. Seeing all this, Simian smiled, and claimed “I am your king. However, I am a little too young to be called a King or anything. So, I am calling myself a Prince, Prince Simian!” All of monkeys on their knees heard this and began chanting “Prince Simian, Prince Simian” And that’s how the name Prince Simian was created.
Chapter 2 – Trouble Begins.
Prince Simian was very happy, living his monkey life in the forest, for a long, long time. It might have been six months or six years. But, eventually, Prince Simian got bored of his monkey life, even with his newly acquired skills. There were only so many ways to impress other monkeys with flying tricks. There were only so many ways you can amuse yourself changing rabbits into snakes. Just like before the event, Prince Simian was simply bored out of his mind. After a few seasons of life as a magic practitioner, there was absolutely nothing new to do. So, what does a monkey with magic skills to do for fun?
The “Heavenly Garden” was where all the goddesses gathered to feast and play chess against each other. It was in the sky above tallest mountains, and white cloud was supporting the entire garden. Since it was above the cloud, it was hidden from mortals. And it was the happening place to be among goddesses. This made this joint extremely popular. The place was packed with goddesses throwing parties all the time. However, there was one part of the garden, forbidden for entering. In the middle was a peach tree and was forbidden. It is a special peach that bears fruit once every 100 years. Each one of peach, when eaten, adds 500 years to one’s life. So, once every 100 years, all the goddesses gather together and feast on ripe peaches. This event was the highlight of Heavenly Gate for which whole immortal world wants invitation for. But, on one sunny day, about a week before the feast, Prince Simian decided to pay a visit to the garden, more specifically the forbidden part. Prince Simian goes straight to the tree and start devouring peaches. Guards who were placed in front of the tree were just stunned by what was happening before their eyes. They simply refused to believe it was happening. But, Simian did not waste any time devouring, first all the ripe ones, and then every single one of unripe ones. As he finishes one, adding 500 to his counts. With a blink of an eye, all of peaches were eaten. When guards realized what just happened, Prince Simian was sleeping under the tree, suffering from indigestion of unripe peaches. With a feast planned next week, this caused a massive panic among goddesses. Some of old goddesses need this peach to make it to next ripening, which is 100 years away. Failure to eat one can only mean one thing; he won’t be there to enjoy next ripening. When the general of heavenly guard went to question Prince Simian, he was brutally beaten by Prince Simian. Matter of fact, in stopping Prince Simian’s brutal attack on the general, the goddess of Heaven himself was beaten and one leg broken. He is still in crutches. This was not the only thing Prince Simian did.
The Mountain Goddess Golf Club was in the middle of deep forest where no human was allowed to enter. Mountain spirits all congregate at the sacred tree of 10000 years. This sacred tree was big and powerful. All the spirits and goddesses care for this tree. This tree is a symbol of all things pure and sacred. Matter of fact, this tree is what binds all the living things in forest together. The mountain goddess herself lives on the tree. One day, Prince Simian was bored out of his mind. After the peach incident thing, he was laying low in the forest. However, it was out of boredom that Prince Simian began looking for this hot chic called “Mountain Goddess”. When Prince Simian got to the sacred tree, Mountain Goddess was out on a shopping spree. Hearing that she is not available, Prince Simian went ape. He chopped down the 10000 year tree to make a toothpick out of! When Mountain Goddess returned, Prince Simian chased her for five days, asking for a kiss. In the end, the goddess ran into a wall and broke her nose. Seeing her bruised nose, Prince Simian said “I don’t like my bia-chi with a big nose.” And left.
This and numerous other “accidents” by Prince Simian angered everyone. Humans and mortals have no recourse, but goddesses were complaining day and night to Buddha. Soon, there was a long line of goddesses in front of Buddha, all waiting to complaint about Prince Simian and ask for justice. Some are still in crutches and others are in wheelchairs. But all are injured. The result was unending line of goddesses, leading them all to Buddha, so that Buddha can do something about the monkey. Patiently, Buddha listens to each one of goddesses’ pleas. They are all looking for some justice; some way of punishing this arrogant monkey that they simply cannot handle. Sure, they all tried to do something, but his magic was way too powerful for any one of them. Even against a group of goddesses, Prince Simian was faster, stronger and more powerful. After what seems to be an eternity, Buddha says that he will talk to the monkey.
Chapter 3. The Bet
Prince Simian was doing his daily chore of scaring human farmers and fishermen out of their skin. All of sudden, out of nowhere, a huge face appears before Prince Simian. It is a face of ever-smiling Buddha. “What the … Who’re you?” asked Prince Simian. “I am Buddha.” answered Buddha. “Bu who?” asked Prince Simian. “Buddha” answered Buddha. “I heard so much about your pranks. I just wanted to talk to you to see if I can convince you to be more graceful.” Said Buddha. Hearing this, Prince Simian was calculating what his move should be next. “Well, that’s a nice trick, with a huge earlobe and all. Maybe I should play caution here just in case he is real Buddha.” Thought Prince Simian “What do you want from me? I haven’t done anything wrong. It was all accidents.” said Prince Simian. Buddha sensing that Simian was leading into accident arguments, Buddha asks “Well, I hear you are the King of all monkeys in the forest.” “True, I, happened to be the fastest, smartest, and best looking thing ever to walk the forest.” answered Prince Simian. Hearing this, Buddha wanted to squash him, but he was Buddha, so he just smiled. “OK, If you are so great, can you prove to me that you are so great?” asked Buddha. Hearing a challenge, Prince Simian answered immediately “Yes, but what do I get out of it?” “I will give you the second volume of the magic book” This almost popped Prince Simian out of his mind. “Second Volume? What do I have to do? Who do I have to kill?” “No, you just have to go to the end of the world and come back.” Said Buddha. “So, let me get this right. I just have to go to the end of this lousy world and come back and you will give me my magic book?” asked Prince Simian. “Yes” said Buddha. “However, there is a condition.” Added Buddha. “Condition?” Simian asked. “If you lose, you have to work for me.” Hearing this, Simian thought, “Hey, If I lose, I will bolt out of here and that will be that.” Prince Simian answered “Agreed.” And he added “But, If you don’t give me my book, I will make s chop-sui out of your ears.” Buddha just smiled and disappeared.
That’s how Prince Simian began his three days and three nights of flying. Using his magic clouds, one under each foot, he was flying as fast as he could. Soon, he was passing the moon, mars, other planets and milky-way, even. Matter of fact, Prince Simian had no idea of whereabouts, not to mention, how to go back. But, on his third day of travel, he saw a large wall at the end of universe. He flew and flew. As he got near the wall, the enormity of this wall became apparent. “This must be the end of universe.” He thought. It took another half day to reach the bottom of the wall. Looking up, Prince Simian cannot see the end of the wall, nor could he see the end of left, not right. Immediately, he jumped out of his clouds and landed on what appears to be a ground. Thinking for a moment for a memorable thing to do, Prince Simian began peeing on the wall. When finished, he took out a can of spray paint, and began writing “P.S. waz here, big eared baldy” Looking back at this art work, Prince Simian began laughing. “The dumb Buddha, what was he thinking?” yelled Prince Simian. As he calmed down from his happiness, Prince Simian hopped on his clouds. “Now, which way was home?” murmured Prince Simian as he flew away from the wall. All of sudden, a loud booming voice came out of nowhere “Is that all you can do?” The voice was so loud and thunderous, Prince Simian fell out of his clouds. “What, who, show yourself! Who are you?” yelled Prince Simian. Soon, up in the sky appears a huge gigantic face of Buddha, still smiling and with big ears. “I said, is that all you can do?” Realizing who it was, Prince Simian asked “Where are you?” Soon, smiling Buddha’s face began disappearing away from the wall, and into the thin air. A huge rumble of the ground followed. It was like an earthquake. Everything shook. Prince Simian was having a hard time standing up. Soon, the wall began shrinking and after a while, what was the wall became fingers of Buddha. The ground became Buddha’s hand. The spray painted graffiti was still on one of his fingers and Prince Simian, now a tiny figure, was in front of Buddha’s fingers, in his palm. Soon, Buddha’s fingers closed in and became a fist, holding Prince Simian in the middle. With his head sticking out of Buddha’s palm, Prince Simian could not move. He tried his magic spells but none worked. Soon, Prince Simian began screaming and crying. “Let me go, let me go you big fat eared baldy.” But, the grip was tight and not yielding. As Buddha’s face re emerge and speaks, dark space became a rocky mountains and deserts. Buddha’s hand became a large rock in a shape of fist, with Prince Simian’s head sticking out in the middle. A loud voice of Buddha began dictating his terms. “You, arrogant monkey, will spend next 500 years in solitude and reflect on your bad deeds. On your 500th year, a monk on a donkey will pass here. It is your task to ask for forgiveness and be released. When released, you will help the monk on his journey to India to bring back the stone tablet of my words. You must repent and prepare for the monk.” With that, Buddha disappeared. Crying and screaming, Prince Simian asks for forgiveness but there is no one to hear him scream; he is in desert.
